Carnival By Natalie

Theres a carnival outside

But Im not fit to go 

My parents think i’m mad

How could they really know? 

There’s a carnival outside

I can hear it seeping in

There’s a carnival outside

I might loose my head as I go deeper in 

My parents think i’m mad 

and the carnival outside is calling to my soul  

And I hate to say that I think it might be the truth, 

that i’m just not okay

I used to think that it was life's cruel currents 

But it's me trying to survive in a sinking boat. 

And I can hardly breathe 

Now that i write and i think 

I feel like I can’t speak 

To the people who don’t see

Its getting harder to do things right 

I feel like my internal selves fight 

Im trying I don’t have much might 

But i’m starting to think that I might just….

I need to go,, somewhere far, 

Somewhere I can’t be read by your hearts

Somewhere I can learn who I am before you decide in your mind 

It's been a while since i've needed to sing 

And I realize i’m in a bit of misery 

And now I can finally breath 

I know where I am when I speak 

So now, I know, I just need to go 

Somewhere where I am not known 

Now there is more to show 

than this part of me that you and I have grown to know 

And so… I just need to fly 

Alone, let my find my home 

I need to need to leave you behind 

Because your linked to the side of me I don’t want to hold 

It pains me to see what i've done 

How good things turn bad 

How I’ve learned to shut out the sun 

There’s a carnival outside and I can’t seem to join 

There’s a carnival outside 

But I know I must to go 

;;;;

And I can’t look you in the eye 

Cause I have no energy to calculate the face I need to make for you to feel okay 

I feel trapped in a cage 

While you just watch me go insane 

I think that when I see you I might begin to cry, 

because all the things I've lost will suddenly be mine

I can't bare to hold the weight of your eyes

and the little care they hold

but there’s a carnival waiting for me outside 

A carnival that’s made for me 

Take me away from this misery

Allow for me to finally breathe 

Where everything that I am is seen 

And the crowds will cheer as they see 

This part of me that is my insanity

The elephants come in and lions roar, 

I will stand on the top of the floor

And then 

I will be free, I will be free, I will be free

This was written the month of June in 2023. I study anthropology and I write poetry to think and remember what my mind said to me one day like this entry-- if i forget who will remember? 

Digital Publication Intentions

These are our cumulative hopes and dreams for an online forum of experience sharing. we are seeking collaborators, please come to a monday meeting or email us! 

Digital Publication Intentions 

Brainstorm for the Curious Souls Manifesto

 WHAT CAN WE DO NOW?

WORLD PEACE!!!!!

Part 1: Who we are

Main themes:

• Thinking towards the future yet appreciating the embodied now 

• Democratization of  knowledge, technology, and art forms { Accessibility, discussion, dissemination of …} Resistance?

• Collective action

• Unifying the processes of learning 

• Blossom curiosity

-A collective of people interested in using digital technologies to share and produce media to experiment with  ideas and realities 

- People interested in the Democratization of  knowledge, technology, and art forms

- collective action// opposing the monopoly on knowledge, information, education, and art 

- How can we produce an innovative reality? One in which the means of creation and innovation rests in our hands

- People interested in social and digital justice

- creatives looking to expand the bounds of institutional learning 

Souls, who care to see and think and feel together, engage in the now, think about the future, WH What is it you think? What possibilities come with our souls together? How can we create a world we dream of?

– Growing up in the climate of intensified technological involvement, how does this consume us? What can we do to take autonomy over our own time and our choice of life? What is it we aspire to have before we die? 

— Why is it that somehow we have lost our ability to use our own autonomy to (1) think with others and (2) learn technology to create against the corporations trying to consume us? 

— In the end what can we hope for if not working together now and forever? 

We are the simple souls that make up our world, we dream for a world where we can see the future in good hands, where we know there's systems set for the care of humans and OUR WORLD.. Decentralizing humans and De-westernizing our thoughts and processes and valuing the other worlds that have many stories to be told, where can we convene without the convoluted attempts social media has.

A place dedicated to finding interdisciplinarity and fundamental motives between all disciplines

People dedicated to creating, creating art, relationships, spaces, change, creating a better future

• Making collaboration and networking more accessible

• Doing research that is personal to us, that holds some stakes for ourselves

• Encouraging others to try out different paths, to encourage a more diverse way of living and thinking, shift the perspective of others to be more hopeful, imaginative, and compassionate

• Encourage people to socialize, I feel that especially here it is easy to isolate oneself, whatever you create or do, you should always look for ways to collaborate and socialize with people, whether it be in the context of research or other things 

- People dedicated to learning and sharing knowledge with no goal other than following and fostering intellectual curiosity— why is it that certain rooms and spaces only accept you or allow you to be a certain way? What constraints do we live in? How do we 

- a collective for asking the important questions

- a network, symposium, micro-movement, a critical mass

• People interested in diagnosing what actions/activism the world needs and inviting collaborative change

• We are unflinching and unabashed optimists, generating utopian hopes in a critical sphere

- a collective for asking and extrapolating meaning from the questions sometimes perceived as unimportant

People who seek to remember their innate childlike wonder and unapologetically share ideas and take up space so that others feel inspired to do the same

• Intersection of arts, community, technology, culture from all walks of life 

• Creating a space for connection outside of one’s day-to-day major/field of study to constantly expand their mind and worldview

---

Part 2: What We Want 

TO DREAM! TO LIVE! 

Fill the time we have with intentionality. What fills your heart? What appeases your soul despite the pain and suffering embedded in the nature of our world. How do we have a place to learn collectively? 

• To create community intentional to engaging with LEARNING, THINKING, UNDERSTANDING, together.

• I want to see the process of creation, especially in the public database, I want to see mistakes and collaboration, and how one’s interests, goals, and methods change and grow as they do, a piece of the researcher in everything I read, not just consume and remember knowledge but learn it

• I don’t wanna see chatgpt :( I wanna read people’s writing, not strive for perfection or uniformity but communicating your own inner voice and thoughts 

• experiment with language, use your own voice

• We want you to share and create

• Steer life in a direction in which knowledge and curiosity are somewhat fundamental pillars or even “purposes” of existence to navigate the storms of the absurd :( 

• A space where any creative thought, epiphany, or production is welcomed for debate

• Discussion and collaboration

• Socialise and meet friends  <3

• What is it that you actually think and care for? What can we learn? What can you teach us? Please dont stop. 

• Creativity and innovation, regardless of experience or qualification

• Experimentation with social norms

• Discover new topics that you are interested in and get access to them

• Digital art

• Off ya phone!!!! Jkhi hanan u gorgeous hi thank u

• It be that damn phone smh

• Alternative spaces for social relations and information sharing

• Place where people can share their art and music and brain

• Experimentation with language and knowledge processes

• ASK questions without judgement (YESS)(+1 +another 1)

• Share theories and critical philosophy 

• Poetry for dismantling the capitalist patriarchy yasss YAAASS

• Dismantle consumerism dismantle influencer ism dismantle istagram and tik tok brain rot doom scrolling 

• Create a space where members’ creativity can be shared with the community

• Conversations, we can share what we are learning in different spaces in the university– AND OUTSIDE the university

• Many, many voices!! Learning to embrace contradiction and open debate

• Win condition: always learn 

• Constant wrestling with the norm (what is it? What might resistance look like?)

• Factory farming information - we dont want that 

(cluster made and coded my xXjoeverXx)

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Part 3: How we’ll get it 

Main Goals

• Physical Meeting spaces

• Discussion series- continuous 

• Writing!

• Host events or discussion series, during covid me and a few friends did this thing where each week one person had to prep a 10min presentation + follow up discussion we would then have in our living room, maybe something like this

• Advertise weekly themes around campus? With materials available on discord for those interested

• Invite external speakers, e.g. authors or local artists to talk about their experiences

• Sharing readings, books, online blogs 

• Open access publication website for curious souls to share their research, learnings, findings, studies, discipline, career, 

• CREATE ART that embodies the emotions we feel and shares it with the people, bringing this movement to the forefront of their minds– poetry, film, theatre, dance,  abstract forms of presenting thought

• THink together, come together, engage with different minds

• COLLABORATE around the world with all curious souls, Create an option for people to share their learnings

• Meet in person, dinner table conversation- who are you? What do you think about? What do you care for?

• Create a physical and digital network of curious souls 

• Reimagining the platform: how can we interrupt the atomization of thoughts and ideas? Different format

- regularly organized in-person gatherings for face-to-face discussion

• Active, intentional articulation of our position and goals for new members and on the website/blog

• MEET, space to actually talk and see eachother in person, outside of school or work. Covid has shown us that we can get by behind a screen, but there is something deeply special, personal, and engaging about creating and socializing face to face 

• “Junk” galleries? No rules, just bring, present, and share art with no rules, expectations, or common themes, just what you are willing to show the world 

• Dada cabaret core

• (cluster made and coded my xXjoeverXx)